Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

I Renounce the Cold Beer Diet

As I mentioned on Tuesday, I have been working on a new diet since my shoulder injury called the Cold Beer Diet. I have to say that results are mixed. Not that I’ve actually, you know, measured the results, mind you.

Look, I want to be an influential travel and fitness blogger like Tim Ferriss or Steve Kamb. They have awesome products to sell. Steve has a workout book and Tim has his own diet. Obviously I had to come up with something of my own, but so far all I’ve really done is go to outdoor festivals with my friends and drink beers.

I think it’s time I realized that this behavior does not amount to a fitness regime. As such, I hereby renounce the Cold Beer Diet. It’s just not gonna do anyone any good, least of all me.

In fact, I think I’ll give up on coming up with a regime of any kind and concentrate on my own fitness. Along those lines, this weekend I will be returning to my bicycle saddle at the Gambler. Come out and join us for a pleasant 100k and then watch some professional racing that night! I’m super excited about it.

In preparation, I just pranced up to the grocery store in my trusty steed, Mazda, to procure some new blades for my lady razor. With any luck, we’ll have some nice weather on Saturday, my legs will be silky smooth, and I won’t fall off my bike. Last thing I want to do is scrub to a stop on the asphalt using my back skin again.

Speaking of ladies shaving products, have you ever noticed that things have a ton of packaging these days? My lazy razor replacement blades have a box, then they’re each taped together in what I assume is their mating position, and then they’re individually packaged as well. Annoying!

The things we men must do for good grooming. Sheesh! Well anyway, it should be a really fun weekend and I hope to see you on a bike, even if you have gross hairy sasquatch legs.

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