Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Party down in CHAD

I mentioned a few days ago on this very webbonical bloggoir that I’m involved with a night of wild art, dance, and public interaction on Friday night down in the Castleberry Hill Arts District (or CHAD for short). It’s called Flux 2010, and CHAD is going to be lit up like a frickin’ Christmas tree. Well, I should say an ironic Christmas tree. Obviously there’s nothing cool about celebrating Christmas directly.

Somehow involved are my friends the Atlanta Bicycle Coalition, who made an offhand remark in my earshot about how they might do some stencils in the streets. I leapt on this opportunity like a starved CHAD street rodent leaps on a forgotten Funyun, and churned out a couple of designs for the words “Bike” and “Walk” which are to be spray-chalked on the streets.

What I did not mention, and what I am proud to tell you right now, today, on this very Blog-o-web, is that not only will the designs get spray chalked on the streets, but in order to further promote art and dancing and CHAD, the Flux people have hired… a dinosaur!

Artist's conception

Yeah that’s right, bitches, a dinosaur. I’m told he or she (no one who has attempted to accurately determine which it is has lived to report back) will be working the bike valet from 8:00 till 8:30 and then just sort of, you know, rampaging in the streets after that. Actually I’m not sure about the bike valet part. It might just be rampaging in the streets the whole time.

You might be asking yourself “Hey, self.. is this safe?”

Look, civic pride and art installations are never safe, regardless of what anyone might tell you. What if a girl you like sees you admiring a piece of art that is so five minutes ago? Your carefully-waxed mustache might never rest against her rosy cheeks again, and that’s totally independent of the threat of a dinosaur ripping your damn arms off and gulping them down like so much brie cheese.

Having said that, one cannot live one’s life holed up in one’s apartment eating spray cheese and playing dress-up forever. I know because I tried it this winter after Cheryl left me for a Best Buy assistant manager, and I think that three months of that is about all a person can stand. If you’re reading this, Jason, I hope you get moved over to the vacuum department… and then killed.

But no, we cannot allow ourselves to let fears or petty squabbles keep us from the pride that our city deserves, or the support that our arts demand. We must rise up from our couches, leap aboard our bicycles, and pedal down to CHAD on Friday night and drink in the art installations like wine! Or you can drive a car or walk or whatever, but obviously a bike offers the maximum opportunity for smugness.

Long story weird, both of my regular readers should come down to Flux 2010 on Friday night. I will be there. A dinosaur will be there. Probably a bunch of other awesome people that you haven’t yet met will be there, and Cheryl too because we’re hanging out again.

Arrange that next to your iPod accessories, Jason.