Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Contador Joins SaxoBank: Spotting Bjarnebugs

I’ve just been looking around our august (and August, as it happens) Atlanta newspaper, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and I’ve learned something. I didn’t intend to, it just kind of happened. I saw the words “How to Spot Bedbugs” on the main page of their web site, and I clicked on them, worried that I might myself have bedbugs and not know it. It was there that I learned how to spot them, and I can now share this information with you.

Here’s how you spot bedbugs:
1. Go to your bed
2. Look for bugs in it

It turns out that bedbugs aren’t all that hard to spot, but let’s say that your “bed” is actually team Saxo Bank, and the “bugs” are actually Alberto Contador and Bjarne Riis. You just look for them in exactly the same way.

Yes, Alberto has announced that he will be riding for team SaxoBank next year, who have joined something called SunGard in sponsoring the team, but I already know what you’re thinking: “Does that mean that Jens will have to ride for Contador?” The answer is no. He’s leaving SaxoBank to be on the Schleck’s as-yet-unnamed-as-far-as-I-know team.

This is good news because, as popular opinion holds, Jens is a groovy dude and Contador’s a bit of a douche.

In fact, Jens is so loved for his enormous riding ability and general affability that someone has taken the time to register jensvoigtfacts.com, and then rewrite all the Chuck Norris jokes from ten years ago to instead be about Jens Voigt. I assume we can expect to see a series of “Ate My Balls” or “Bert is Evil” pages about Jens as well in the coming months, as apparently the cycling humor world is lagging behind the rest of comedy by at least decade.

Much as I think its a little weak to be recycling material that wasn’t all that funny the first time, its just not possible to dislike things that have Jens attached to them. He has a great sense of humor and rides with courage, and those might be the two best things you can say about a rider.

Sliding down the sides of Mount Olympus and tumbling into the mean streets of the amateur cyclists below, however, I find myself with a right calf muscle that is highly upset about being forced to finish a race on Saturday even though it was cramping tighter than a recession wallet. Hopefully it will relax in time for me to race at the track tomorrow night or I will force it once more to do things.

After all, what would Jens do?