Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Headbutts Aside, Let Renshaw Ride!

Yesterday in the greatest sporting contest known to man, the Tour de France, there was a bit of a kerfuffle. You see, Australian cyclist Mark Renshaw was seen jostling and headbutting Garmin-Transitions rider Julian Dean in the last few hundred meters before the end. As a result, Renshaw has been thrown out of the Tour.

The cycling world is abuzz with the controversy. Some say Renshaw was just doing his job. Some say he endangered Dean as well as Tyler Farrar, who was riding just behind Renshaw. Others say that it’s not his fault, as he was raised from a young age by a family of billy goats and he doesn’t know how to express himself any other way.

Renshaw is the leadout man for Mark “Manx Missile” Cavendish. It is his job to sprint as hard as he can into the wind with Cavendish close on his wheel, thus getting Cavendish into a good position from which to launch his sprint and win the stage. It’s sort of like the way NASA rockets use multiple stages to blast off into space. The team lines up single file and each rider in turn peels off the front when he’s exhausted, the last two being Renshaw and Cavendish.

To explain it another way, if you think of winning a stage of the Tour de France in terms of seducing someone, Cavendish would be the act of sex itself, and Renshaw would be heavy petting. There are rumors that Renshaw also headbutts those he intends to sleep with, but these are not confirmed.

I think it’s harsh to throw Renshaw out of the tour, and I wish the Tour organizers would reconsider their decision. It is in that spirit that I’ve created the following image to help spread the word. Join the cause!

Let’s all get together on this and appeal to the race directors to reconsider their decision. After all, the French are an understanding people. All we have to do is explain our position on the matter: Let Renshaw Ride!

2 thoughts on “Headbutts Aside, Let Renshaw Ride!”

  1. Emily
     · 

    sweet graphic.
    there should be more cross over between roller derby and bike racing, I’ve been saying it for years.

  2. jim
     · 

    You should come do a Madison race at the track. It’s rollerderbyish.