Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Just So You Know, I Am a Weirdo

Recently, a young lady said the following to a friend of mine after a date: “Just so you know, I will be dating around.”

A great fluttering of wings was heard, and it was assumed that the Vulture of Shame was homing in on someone in the vicinity, but instead it turned out to be his cousin, the Awkward Hawk.

Now, I think we all realize that until The Talk is had, pretty much anything is fair game. At least, that’s how I understand the rules. This was only their first date, so The Talk isn’t even an option for them presently, but there are some things that you just don’t come out and say.

I don’t mean to sound too old fashioned. I am too old-fashioned of course, I just don’t mean to sound that way. Still, I recognize that it’s a new world out there. Women are having less kids and more career, and I support it. They should do whatever makes them the happiest.

It’s also true that I don’t have the benefit of the proper context of the surrounding conversation, but it seems to me that she might as well have said “Just so you know, I am basically an major international airport. People are landing on me 24 hours a day.”

Does it really need to be stated clearly after the very first date with someone you met through an online dating service that you’re not yet in a committed relationship? Maybe it does, now that I think of it. Internet people are well known to be weirdos.

Personally, I tried to keep an open mind about internet dating, but I have given it up. I think that humans are meant to meet one another face to face. I still maintain that there’s no wrong way to meet the right person, but meeting them from the internet isn’t right for me.

To give you an example of why its weird, I cancelled my account, noted clearly in my profile that I don’t think that method of meeting people is for me, and yet I’m still getting a few emails a week. Here’s one such exchange:

She said:
Hi there!
I read your profile, found you interesting and thought I should say Hi

I clicked on her picture, and she was a very pretty and very normal looking girl from the north end of town. Shame about the whole Internet thing, really.

I said:
RE: Hi there!
Thanks for the email. You’re obviously a very lovely woman, but I don’t think you read my whole profile

She said:
RE: Hi there!
I did read your profile, I saw what you said. Still, one can’t help but to try…I took the chance. I am ok with you saying no, but I am not ok with NOT trying. I wish you the very best in life :)

So, based on a dorky picture of me screaming on a rollercoaster with my lesbian friend, you just had to take a shot? Or was it the one of me playing pool with a full beard and a cashmere sweater?

Thanks for the interest, sweetie, it is nice to be thought of that way, but unless you know one of my friends and can get introduced to me that way, it ain’t gonna happen I’m afraid.

I might be willing to make an exception for professional quality racing bicycles, though.