Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Boobs Aplenty!

In the process of writing today’s post, I googled for a hilarious thing to link the words “avert your eyes” to.

As a result, I now know that Verne Troyer, the actor who played Mini-Me in the Austin Powers movies, has a sex tape. What a glorious cornucopia is our Interplops!

My only concern for Vern is that sex tapes are kind of done already. I mean, the original sex tape, Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson’s honeymoon tape, came out in 1995 or so I believe. That’s a year or two before even Austin Powers came out. Come on, Vern!

At least he’s got the angle (if you will) of being a little person. That adds a bit of flavor to the whole situation, I think.

Sex tapes are so wildly overdone now, girls don’t even flinch when they’re naked in front of cameras anymore. It used to take some cajoling to get girls to allow themselves to be photographed naked, but nowadays you’re likely to see a group of college girls flashing a shelf of webcams in Best Buy just in case one is hooked up.

Personally I am saddened by this. I mean of course I love to ogle naked female parts as much as anyone, but trying to talk girls into being photographed used to be a challenge that has of late become somewhat less challenging. My collection of compromising photos, all taken with permission, has lost some of its luster.

It saddens me, and makes me feel as though I come from a forgotten time.

Yes ladies, back in my day we had to pursue you for your nakedness. Now you guys post boob shots to the internet without any prodding at all. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but its my opinion that if there’s anything a man needs, it is a challenge.

I am highly in favor of personal liberties, and I think if a consenting adult wants to share his or her naked body with other consenting adults then their right to do so should be supported with the full force of Lady Liberty’s own righteous green rack.

I just miss the secret covetous feeling of having a photograph that no one else has.