Well, it’s finally here! Like a plump salmon leaping from the stream of time into our collective time-laps, 2010 has flopped wetly upon us. I am very pleased.
As the only person in my family who is not a child, frighteningly old, married, or a parent with kids, the largest burden of travel rests upon me during the holiday season. It gives me a lot of time in the car to sing along with Miley Cyrus and to reflect upon my goals for 2010. Many of you have been clamoring to hear what they are this year, and by “many of you” I mean my sister. By “clamoring” I mean “mentioned it on facebook”. So, I’m nodding my head like “Yeah” and writing them down here.
Last year my goals were mostly athletic, including the completion of a Half Ironman, a Full Ironman, a Half Marathon, A Full Marathon, Six Gap century, and a “1A” start time at the Peachtree Road race. I’m happy to say I completed all of those. Some of my more private, unstated goals, however, went sadly uncompleted.
I did not, for instance, construct a 50 foot pyramid, or become a werewolf.
Nevertheless, my 2010 goals are mostly athletic and achievement-based because, you know, I like doing stuff that is hard. So, here they are.
Goal the first: Summit Kilimanjaro
Yes, if you are the tallest peak in Africa, you’ll be seeing my wheezing face later this year as I trundle up you. Since there are no peaks on the east coast of the US taller than around 6000ft and Kili is nearly 20,000ft, I have no way to really prepare for altitude sickness. Instead, I’m doing another marathon on Valentine’s Day and then racing bikes all summer.
I would also like to ascend to the top of the giraffe pictured above, but I am told that there are Tanzanian laws against this. I will settle for befriending him or her.
Goal the Second: Race Bikes All Summer
This year I plan to try out Track racing down at the Dick Lane Velodrome in East Point. I have been warned that I might not like it, so I am holding off on buying a track bike until I get my license and attempt it. Usually I purchase bikes with the financial foresight and solid reasoning of a jonesing crack addict.
I also want to do some time trials. We have a time trial series here that I wanted to do last year but skipped to train for Ironman instead. If there is one thing I can say about Ironman training, it has a way of turning time you would have spent having fun into time you spend riding your bike literally all day. It can be, in every possible sense, a pain in the ass.
Goal the Third: Become a Werewolf
Look how popular that New Moon movie is! I would be able to get chicks like crazy if I were a werewolf. I guess I have to get bitten by one to become one, so if there are any werewolves reading this, contact me and let’s schedule something.
Goal the Fourth: Weigh 180lbs
Last year I got down to around 210 during Ironman preparations, but like a stripper who has just spotted the flash of a hundred dollar bill, I can go lower.
Goal the Fifth: Update this blog every weekday
Oh yeah, baby, this regular update train is continuing into 2010 with the force of a thousand pervy movie werewolf abs. Horny teens not allowed.
I have a few other goals like staying out of bars, trying yoga, qualifying for a 1A time at Peachtree road race again, finishing a new bunch of original tunes, hiking much of the southeastern portion of the Appilachian Trail, making more money than last year, following Liz Hatch and Paris Hilton on Twitter (two of my favorite women), and not speaking to any new people under 30 years old.
It’s going to be a great year.