Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Ah, air travel.

I realize its never really been fun, and I know its been said plenty, but come on airlines. Can we really not do any better than this? At least I have a window seat. Im also next to the bin that contains the defibrillator, so if I should suddenly have a heart attack they have the tools to zap and zort me back to life. Also there is a screen in front of me that offers games and films and shit for a $2 fee. What a racket! They bore and annoy you until they get you on the plane and then charge the hell out of you for tiny comforts.

I am watching the two baggage handlers under my window load the baggage on the plane. They are wearing earplugs and big headphones to block out the engine noise but they still seem to be having a conversation. Maybe they are lip readers.

I just realized I have never once had a cute seatmate. Always dudes. Help me out here, delta!

One thought on “Ah, air travel.”

  1. Christopher Curzio
     · 

    I’ve long complained about the fact that every time I fly I never get a cute female seatmate. 99% of the time it’s a dude, and the other 1% it’s usually a grandmother type (0.5% split between the kindly old grandmotherly type and the old jaded wench that hates the world).

    The worst is the long flights. When I fly to and from Germany in a few weeks I guarantee I’m going to get plunked next to anyone in the above categories.