I am outside and it is hot as unholy hell. My face is sweating so much that my sunglasses keep slipping down my nose. I feel like if I ate a handfull of mud I could actually turn it into a brick suitable for construction purposes. I would do this thanks to the kiln-like temperatures of my innards. I would go on national TV right now in a pink tutu and declare that my songs suck and my penis is tiny if I could do it from the cool soothing comfort of a swimming pool. Also I would need a margarita. With good tequila.