Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

The Future of Air Travel

From time to time I hear people lamenting the lack of flying cars in modern society. Anyone who wishes that they were a reality hasn’t walked around the city much. See that street sign that is snapped off at the curb? See that guard rail crumpled like a straw wrapper? Imagine that damage could happen anywherefrom above.

If you are developing a flying car, I invite you to fornicate yourself in the exhaust.

There are other flying futures to consider, though. Check out this see-through plane as envisioned by Airbus:

The Captain performs a floor show.
The people at Windex are pretty stoked, I bet.
Incoming Mile High Club joke in 3... 2...

Admittedly, that would be a pretty amazing plane to fly around in, but I’m not convinced that the problem with air travel currently is the lack of things to look at or games to play. Virtual golf looks awesome, but I already had my balls knocked around on the way through security.

I think that the future of travel is to assiduously conserve it: don’t go often, but when you do, go far. This is why I try not to leave my house, why I strongly prefer to spend any nights out within the confines my neighborhood, and why I will perform acts of violence to keep from venturing into the suburbs. I do all of this while planning my next international jaunt.

Did you know that most zombies lurk in the suburbs? It’s true. Best to stay away.

I say we forget about flying cars and fancy planes and concentrate on the far more awesome jetpack. Sure, people are still likely to plummet from the sky, but you need both hands to operate a jetpack. There’s no time for the Facesbook!