Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Bikes and Coffee: A Sordid Affair

Chris King Espresso Tamper

Wandering the mean streets of the Internet, in black and white colors and with the collar of my trenchcoat flipped up against the brim of my fedora, I occasionally encounter mysteries. That’s when I reach into the chest area of my tutu and withdraw my magic wand and thinking tiara. Fedora discarded and the aforementioned properly ensconced, I ponder.

I have never felt prettier or more deeply pensive than today when I mulled over some seemingly-disparate clues I had assembled. They appeared not to fit with one another, but still I turned them over and over in my mind. Then, all of a sudden, they snapped together perfectly, and I had it. Coffee and bikes are sleeping together! I felt as though I’d inadvertently discovered a secret love that dare not speak its name, but in reality they’re openly flaunting their relationship and I, until just then, had been too thick to see it.

A Thomson stem, or handlebar holdey thing. Not for smooshing coffee.

The signs were all there
I mean, I knew that a coffee company was one of BikeSnob’s sponsors, but it took the knowledge that Chris King, famous purveyor of the most coveted headset in cycling (also known as a “turney thing”), is now producing parts expressly for espresso-machine-wrangling baristas to really bring the whole thing home. Yes, behold the Chris King Espresso Tamper (also known as a “smooshey thing”)!

I can only assume that Thomson, the Chris King of stems and seatposts, will be producing some coffee-related hardware soon in order to stay hip and fresh. Get with it Thomson!

Why do Bikes and Coffee go together so well?
Once home in my Consideration Chamber, I adjusted my thinking tiara for maximum brain power, balled my right hand into a fist, laid it upon my desk, and then propped my head on it and thought. After some long minutes and a few red marks on my forehead, my best guess is that bikes and coffee go together so well because people need a place to ride to and be seen on their bikes in the daytime. At night, all the cool points of riding a sweet bike are moot because less people can see it or how cool you are on it.

There are other drawbacks, of course, such as not being quite as visible to cars, but as I type that I wonder if a nighttime rider with appropriate blinkeys is more or less visible than a daytime rider. Someone should do a study.

Hey, if BIkes and Coffee like each other and have found happiness together, then far be it from me to intervene. Hell, I even rode in the freezing cold last night to hang out at a coffee shop. I got a hot chocolate, though. Saucy!

One thought on “Bikes and Coffee: A Sordid Affair”

  1. Robert Donlan

    Last night was a hot chocolate kind of night. Riding with the coffee jitters through that cold would have been no fun. More nerd alerts soon!