Design is all about the placement of an item’s elements. Sometimes those elements are no-nonsense, going straight from place to place. Other times they include a curve or wiggle which is not strictly necessary for structural purposes, but is there just for looks. Like a dance move attempted on the spur of the moment, it is up to the beholder to decide whether the wiggle is good or bad.
Take, for instance, what is surely the greatest example of a wiggle in action, not to mention the epitome of “whimsical”, the crazy straw.
Never has the simple addition of a little wiggling brought so much enjoyment, except certain kinds of wiggling that a man and his Cheryl perform together. These matters, however, are beyond the scope of this document.
Now let’s examine an example of what I consider to be a bad design wiggle, the forks and seatstays on a Pinarello Prince, or as I call it, the Wigglefork.
E'ry day i'm wigglin wigglin wigglin
That fork and those seatstays remind me of a kris, which is a kind of ceremonial dagger indigenous to some southeast Asian countries. I’ve never seen a real kris, but I have seen a lot of reproductions which are the sorts of things that your weird cousin who drinks way too much Mtn Dew might own.
Mom, I've told you, it is a KRIS not a WAVY KNIFE.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I would love to have a Pinarello, but since I already own a Pegoretti, I think I am pretty much set for Italian bike frames that start with the letter P. I use the Pegoretti, or “Peggy” as I call it, as my singlespeed bar hopper, a fact which would probably cause Dario Pegoretti himself no end of disdainful Italian frowns.
But not all wiggles are bad in my jaded eyes. Occasionally the omission of a wiggle is what causes me consternation, as seen here in the capital R glyphs from the fonts Helvetica and Arial, respectively.
As you can see, the Helvetica’s capital R looks like a gentleman performing a stately bow with his leg put forth in the style of the day, whereas the Arial capital R looks like a douchey kid with his leg stuck out in an effort to trip someone. Don’t get me started on the letter “Z” from Arial – I hate it so much!
This is precisely why design is fun. Some things that will be pretty to your eye will cause mine to quake in its socket and roll around in disgust. Too much coffee also causes them to do that, which is why I’ve had to set limits on my coffee intake lest someone see me and think I am possessed by an evil spirit.
Rest easy friends, I am not possessed. I’m just hopped up on Mocha Java and some serious design snobbery. Wiggle on!
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