Normally I avoid spending too much time on Facebook. I have some pretty clever friends who are likely to make me laugh, but every now and then there can be some lurking negativity as well. Overall, it is a great way to stay up to date on the latest photos of my little nieces, as well as to post links to this blog, of course.
A while back, though, I saw a status update from a friend that made me think. He expressed some frustration with the women in his life, and concluded with a cry to the universe that he’d like to, at last, spend some time with some sane ladies. I know this guy. He is a good person; girls like him. I don’t think its fair to say that all girls are crazy, though, try as some do to appear that way.
Now let me preface any further musing on this matter by saying that I know about as much about women as a slice of pizza knows about brewing beer. It seems like we go together well sometimes, but I haven’t the capacity to fully grasp what’s going on behind the scenes. Most of my friends are happily married homeowners, and I am a single bachelor turning 36 today in a one bedroom apartment.
Let’s just say I have a lot of time to ride bikes. Time, it must be said, that my married friends are highly jealous of.
Even so, I cannot allow myself to sink into the comfortable sullen mud that is the “girls are crazy” conclusion because it puts me in a logical paradox. If women are crazy, then they were crazy when we started seeing each other, not just when we broke up. I don’t meet women out for a first date, find that things are going well, and then say to myself “Wow this girl likes me… she must be nuts!”
Surely I’m not systematically turning perfectly sane women into lunatics, whatever my dating skills may be.
Of course I think any girl with a head on her shoulders would regard me as the greatest opportunity ever to come her way, but let’s just say there are rather a lot of headless women roaming this town. I just have to look myself in the mirror and remind myself that breaking up with me (or doing something that causes me to break up with you) is a Colossal Mistake. Calling people crazy isn’t helping anyone.
Check out Arthur C. Clarke’s third law of prediction:
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
And now feast your eyes upon James C. Hodgson’s First Law of People:
Any sufficiently emotional behavior is indistinguishable from madness.
When people make decisions based on emotions, it is impossible to understand those decisions for anyone who is not able to relate to those emotions, and there is nothing more potentially emotional for all parties than trying to compare lives and body parts in hopes of a match.
Additionally, I think that the current social and political climate has left many of both genders at a loss as to how to handle one another. I think most men would agree that women are right to ask for and get all the equality they want, in the workplace or in politics or wherever, but if women can do everything for themselves, what is left for us to provide?
Whatever the factors, we can’t allow ourselves to be sullen about it. Girls aren’t crazy. Guys aren’t crazy. We’re just all trying to find the best match we can and get on with it.
I’m sure that a poll of my Cheryls would reveal an emphatic belief that I am crazy. Hah!
Which, I mean, you know… is probably true.