Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Nerd Love An Email Away

Good news, Atlanta nerds! Put down the Cheetos bag and put on your best programming syntax joke tee shirt, because I have lined up a date for you. This time it’s with a real girl!

Yes, okay, a real girl who has always been a girl. God, you guys are picky.

Check out this Craigslist ad:

Ok Nerds and geeks I am looking for you. I love you guys cause I find I have a lot in common with you and since I am looking for my best friend in life I thought this would be a good start. So here are a few reasons why I love my nerds & geeks:

-Nerds & Geeks are too busy with something like a video game to bother cheating on you..

-Nerds & Geeks know how to treat and appreciate a lady.

-Nerds & Geeks have real jobs and are educated.

-Nerds & Geeks have interest in different types of foods, music, movies that aren’t chick flick and other cultures.

-Nerds & Geeks are book smart and I am more street smart, so we can help each other out.

-Nerds & Geeks can joke around and have a quick wit with a touch of smartass, love it as I make fun of everyone including myself.

She goes on to describe herself as “5’5′ with auburn hair, big blue eyes and thick bod”, which sounds pretty hot to me. I know you guys like your women curvy and feminine after all the fuss you made about the last one having a slightly boyish figure.

And no, this time there’s no five o’clock shadow. Stop asking!

And last but not least most of the nerds and geeks out there are NOT crazy parting drunk man whores who like to play mind games and be a real A-hole.Also guys be in the age range 25-35, DD free, non smoker and at least 5’8.

Well, I take offense at her launching an attack on drunk man whores. I need a few drinks before I turn tricks, okay, lady? You think its easy to squeeze a big-boned 35 year old man’s body into a corset and heels? It’s not!

Also I was not previously aware that infidelity was merely a scheduling issue, but your future girlfriend apparently knows more about it than I do. Apparently, having sex with someone outside of your committed relationship is something that could be easily avoided by simply developing an interest in video games. Who knew?

Perhaps we could donate some gaming systems to the religious leaders in our communities to ease some of the more embarrassing situations they’ve been, uh… “exploring” of late.

All I’m saying is, this chick sounds pretty perfect, nerds. Get off your ass and send her an email.

There’s no wrong way to meet the right person!