Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Finding Love: Lend Me Your Ear

I am by no means an expert on the subject of women. As I have said a few times already, my game is in a rebuilding year this year.

Truthfully, I’ve been spending all my free time riding bikes, so my game will probably stay as bad as it ever was well into the fall. Romancing girls and cycling are direct analogs in my life. I’m not a pro at either one, I’ve been known to wear outlandish clothing in the process of both, and yet somehow they’re both lot of fun all the same.

One day around Thanksgiving I will peek my head out of my windowless underground lair, decide that it has gotten too cold to ride comfortably, and then emerge in search of a lady friend with whom to weather the cold months. At which point, of course, all the good ones will be taken, having been snapped up in the spring and summer.

Oh well. At least I save a lot of money on Christmas gifts.

Chatting to girls is among my favorite pastimes, and though it can be a perilous experience, at least I know what not to say some of the time. I’ve never had a girl bite my ear off, for instance, as a gentleman in Nebraska recently did.

I was once bitten on the shoulder, but that was a far weirder situation which I am reluctant to go into at present.

But whatever troubles I have aside, at least some people are finding happiness with one another. Pearl, aged 72 years, and her grandson, Phil, 26, have found each other and are even expecting a baby, though the baby is being carried by a surrogate mother.

It’s nice, really, when a couple find one another like that.

Ugh, seriously… this is one of those situations where I can’t even think of any jokes that are more vile than the reality so I’ll just let your imaginations run wild.

One thought on “Finding Love: Lend Me Your Ear”

  1. Hugh
     · 

    This has great content short and sweet. One thing is finding a lady friend in the winter or fall can be tough, but if you know where and how to look things will pan out for you!