Writer. Warning: opinions. My lawyer advised a disclaimer, but didn't include any jokes to go with. Damned if I can think of any either.

Good Deed Roundup

As my 2.5 regular readers are aware (uncle Hector only reads half of each post), I have taken great strides to lift the spirits of marine life with my Hugs for Fish campaign. I am happy to report that things are going well, though we had an embarrassing public SNAFU last week.

Upon hearing that a friend of mine owns a deep sea fishing boat, I not only immediately and rudely invited myself to be taken fishing, but in a fit of anti-fish machismo I proclaimed that I would “punch a fish in the damn face”. I’m not really sure that that makes a person a good fisherman, and I regret saying it.

I’m also not sure where their faces begin or end, so I’d really only be punching at the pointy end.

The good news is that I am involved with a number of charities and outreach programs that actually do good for people and aren’t just vehicles for embezzlement like Hugs for Fish may or may not be depending on whether or not you are a law enforcement officer.

Songs for Kids

First of all, let me direct your attention to the Songs for Kids foundation. On Monday the 3rd of May I will perform for the 4th year in a row at Smith’s Olde Bar in Atlanta, GA as part of this organization. They put on ten days of shows in a row, with 50 songs a day played by hundreds of local and national musicians. For some reason, they haven’t learned their lesson yet and still let me be a part of it.

If you are in Atlanta and you’d like to see a washed up hack perform an Elvis song around 11pm on May 3 at Smith’s Olde Bar, come on by. It’s for a good cause, and I don’t mean my ego this time.

Brownwood Bike Rally

I have joined forces with East Atlanta Kids Club before, having donated my time to their web site efforts, but this time they have included bicycles in their event so I am even more interested.

If you have a bicycle and you would like to come out and ride it with a bunch of other people who like riding bicycles, then this event is for you. I myself will be attempting to pass for a child under ten years of age in hopes that I can win the kids race.

Hey, winning is winning, and anyway those kids are fast.

Nerd Dash

No, I’m not referring to the stampede that would erupt should Fry’s Electronics ever start carrying Cheetos in addition to computer parts, this is a drive that my buddy Steve Kamb (of NerdFitness.com) is putting on over at Nerddash.com. He has vowed to participate in the Warrior Dash, and will do so with a passel of supporters, all dressed as zombies or pirates or cavemen depending on how much money he raises.

The money will go to send kids to Camp Sunshine, a camp for kids with cancer. I have volunteered to be a counselor this summer, as I went to a similar camp last year and enjoyed being a grumpy old man.

Personally I think Steve should have included some much more embarrassing options, such as a pink tutu or fancy ball gown. Dressing up like a ninja is fun times. Who needs money for that?

Come to think of it, I feel the same way about women’s clothing, and that raises some questions that I am ill-equipped to address about myself right now.

All that aside, I hope you will take the time to check out my favorite charity efforts and maybe get involved in some way. It really inflates my already-voluminous ego to think of myself as helping people who need help!

Have a great weekend!