I have had a lot of fun reviewing things lately. I’ve even tried my hand at reviewing a few albums of music, but I heard one today that actually made me fantasize that I was a giant eagle flying into the stage and knocking all the musicians over. They were that bad. Or, I like fantasizing I am a giant eagle that much.
Going forward I’m going to review things I know I like, such as trucks and video games and bikes and things that go bang. Let’s get started!
Trucks are so awesome. They’re big, they’re loud, and they can haul a lot of crap around. If you want to look like a total badass, you want a truck. And a mustache. And some leather chaps and a leather vest. And you want to be deeply tanned and have no shirt on under the vest.
Yeah, badass!
This is why I was so stoked when I got home tonight and found this happening in my street:
Hell yeah, baby, you are looking at a truck on top of another truck! How badly do I want to be in the cab of that FedEx truck on top of the tow truck honking the horn and waving at people? The answer: really badly.
More than I want to be able to turn into a giant eagle? Well… let’s not get hasty.
I was so pumped up after seeing the truck on truck action in the street, I knew what I had to do. I had to blow up some zombies. Enter Left 4 Dead 2.
Zombies, I have long held, are the ultimate video game or movie villain. They are slow, stupid, and most importantly they are very clearly not human. Since they are so clearly not at all human, there is no reason to have any moral compunctions whatsoever about dumping every single round of ammunition you have on hand into them.
Glarrrrg was that my arm? Oh nevermind. Hrarrrrgh brains!
And to think that when I was but a wee lad, video games were comprised of mere weird blocky shapes blinking around on my parent’s television screen. Here I am today holding a controller with seventy different buttons on it looking straight through the midsection of a very realistic zombie in whom I have just blown a prodigious hole.
Suck on that, undead jerk.
If I only they would add a truck to this game…
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