I just made a deal with my friend Holly the barista that if she actually contracted swine flu I would stop calling it Pig AIDS.

So much to write about. I don’t know if I have the time to cover it all, but here’s a list for quick purposes:

• Friday: 25 miles
  • ended up riding mass with a friend
  • a kid kicked over some bags of leaves and I cleaned it up
  • played flip cup (with water) and laughed a lot
• Saturday: 60 miles
  • rode a 60mi group ride saturday AM that was fast as hell at the start
  • was chillin in the paceline at 30+ with almost no effort on the flats
  • got sunburned pretty good
  • Watched some very fast crits
• Sunday: 10 miles (mtn miles count double, so more like 20)
  • raced in a mountain bike race
  • discovered I have better than average athletics and wind, but not that great technical ability on a mountain bike
  • grabbed some air at the end to show off for my teammates and nearly wrecked
  • came in 11th
  • watched Monsters Vs Aliens and laughed

Okay drivers, here’s the deal.

If you and I are on the roadway together, and I am on a bike and you are driving a car, if you start acting weird I am going to slow down or stop until you stop acting weird. This includes stopping when you aren’t supposed to and motioning at me to go ahead. Yes I am staring at you. Yes I realize you are trying to be nice.

I do this because my cycling philosophy is that you want to kill me. It’s the best explanation for the way cars behave around bikes. Stop getting all huffy about it and move on with your day.

For one thing, I can’t see all that well into your car. How do I know you are motioning at me to go and not brushing aside something your wife said? How do I know you aren’t about to jam on the gas and flatten me? I don’t know that, and in fact, I suspect that you are about to jam on the gas as soon as I get near you because I know that you want to kill me.

The best way for you to behave is “predictably”. Let me do what I do and you go about your way, and remember this. You might suffer a small dent. I might die.

As such, I get to dictate our interaction as much as I want.

Apparently obesity is an epidemic. I have been hearing that for a while.

I’m not a doctor, I’m just a guy who lost over a hundred pounds.

In my opinion, obesity isn’t an epidemic, it’s a symptom of epidemic laziness.

Stop eating at McDonalds. Stop smoking. Stop drinking so much beer. Stop sitting on your stupid ass every night watching TV.

I did it and so can you.

Here’s how I know I am old.

I pulled up to a stop light on my bike on Wednesday night with Chris. A car rolled up next to us blasting the Pet Shop Boys.

West. End. Girls.

The people in the car were jamming along. I was jamming along. We all waited for the light.

“You have to admit, that’s a great song.” I said to Chris.

“Never heard it before.”

The light turned green, and I turned gray.