I dreamed last night that I was going into haunted houses for some reason. I went into one and was surprised to find Wall-E there, but apparently he was an old friend of mine because I hugged him hello and we were glad to see each other.

“Watch out,” he warned. “There are some cop ghosts downstairs.”

Sure enough, a cop ghost floated up the stairway from below, but I swiped my hand at it and it went away. Seems those cop ghosts were fascinated with this long crowbar that was in the house for some reason.

The platform Wall-E and I were hanging out on turned out to be a giant phonebook, with newsprint pages, even though it was painted white and looked just like any modern loft platform thing.

So, I took that crowbar that the ghost cops were all wild about and jammed it between the pages of the phone book so they’d piss off for a while and go be dead and mad down in the basement.

Wall-E and I caught up on old times.

I’ve been quit for a long time now. It’s hard for me to remember how many years have gone by between this and that but it’s been a long time. I think six years or so.

It’s definitely been long enough for the girl I was with at the time to marry someone else and have two kids. That’s for sure.

I used to think it was so cool to light cigarettes on the stove. Now I look at a cigarette and I think about not being able to breathe in the pool.

Why?

Why follows me around everywhere. Here I am in the shower at the pool freezing my tits off. Now I’m stepping under the water and its too hot but I’m somehow still freezing. Here I am wondering if I can get a last run in before I go out with my friends. Do I have time for my shoes to dry before my long run monday? It’s wet out.

I have a why.

She said, “Does anyone have a LIGHTER?” and waved a cigarette around.

The girl next to her said, “I’ve got one.”

“No, I want a GUY with one!”

No guys had a lighter. So, she used the one the girl next to her had.

I just got home and saw a lighter laying on my kitchen counter next to my protein bars and it reminded me. Next time I see her I’ll tell her I have one at home.

Listening to two senators claiming that each other voted for pork barrel projects is one of the most ridiculous things I can imagine.

Might as well be claiming the guy wears suits.