open letter to the guy who eye-sexed me today
Sir, first of all thank you very kindly for your thorough eye love this morning. It really made my run a little brighter that someone would find me that attractive when I’m sweating like a fat man on a July ferris wheel. I am flattered.
Unfortunately, while you seem to be in possession of most of the feminine qualities I look for in a potential mate, I do require them to also actually be female. I realize that this is technically a discriminatory practice, but it suits my needs best.
This does not diminish one iota my appreciation of your platinum blonde mowhawk, just so you know.
It is unfortunate that such a pleasant if somewhat awkward moment of unrequited eye love had to be ruined by your overzealous pit bull, who leaped on me and scratched my leg. Too bad. I have heard that most pit bulls are really docile and friendly, although I am a Labrador man myself.
Anyway, no hard feelings about the scratched leg. Dogs will be dogs, after all. Enjoy the rest of your day!
Yours (figure of speech),
Jim Hodgson
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Jim Hodgson, one year in high gear. is proudly powered by WordPress Entries (RSS) and Comments (RSS).
January 10th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Story of my life.
Don’t you just hate it when they mentally undress you like that? What am I - a piece of meat?