Bleach

This morning, as I was wandering out of my room to the clanging sounds of the apartment maintenance guy knocking my washing machine around, my eyes fell upon my roommate’s laundry detergent. Now, many’s the time my covetous eyes have landed thusly, as I forget to go to the store to buy some for myself and pilfer hers willy nilly, but this time was different.

I looked blearily at the bottle, and thereupon I read the following advertisement:

With Color Safe Bleach!

Hm, allrighty, so it’s a bleach that doesn’t take any colors away. But isn’t that, like, what bleach does? It bleaches things? Here’s the definition of bleach:

v. tr.
1. To remove the color from, as by means of chemical agents or sunlight.
2. To make white or colorless.

So, yeah, bleach removes the color of something. So what’s color-safe bleach?

It’s fucking soap. The laundry detergent contains soap.