Holy god. With all this lost guitar business, I am having to face the fact that I may be purchasing a new guitar very soon, even though my old guitar was perfect and fit me like a glove.

Too bad Delta has stolen it. That’s right, I said STOLEN it. I mean really… are there that many nooks and crannies in an airport where a guitar flight case can hide for days on end? Please! Some fuckass nabbed it! They don’t know where it is at all. As far as I know it was never scanned in in Seattle. God damn it!

To top it all off, Gibson has stopped making the Chet Atkins SST, the guitar that Delta stole from me. Instead they are making an extremely stupid mockery thereof called the Pioneer. Damn it!

I have played a Taylor T5, and they are pretty nice, but they’re also much more expensive and fragile than a used Chet is. Sigh, sigh, SIGH!

It’s like I caught my friend Delta in my house stealing my crap, then I turned to my girlfriend Gibson guitars and she hid in the closet. Get out of the closet, Gibson! Delta is stealing my shit!

Fuck! Delta lost my guitar.

The gentleman I spoke with said they prefer to call lost bags “Delayed” because it sounds better. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t have it in my hand and neither he nor his computer knew where it was, so by any reasonable definition it was lost, but I didn’t.

I also wanted to elbow him sharply in the ribs and dive past him down the baggage hole and look for my guitar myself, madly poking people in the eyes as I went, but I didn’t do that either. I just sat there and waited around for it to show up, then gave up and left. They think it may show up tomorrow.

Some people are in serious danger of being jabbed sharply in the eye with a finger.

UPDATE: Still don’t have my guitar. The website says there’s no news about it, and I have a pretty important gig tomorrow night. I am going to have to borrow one. :(