Of course we all know that shapes take on meanings. For instance, a red octogon means stop, a yellow triangle means warning, a green circle means go. You know what I’m saying. The shape pictured at left means technology.

If you watch TV for any period of time, you will see this shape, particularly in commercials for TV shows about swat teams or spies or computers or anything that needs to seem technological. Look for yourself. This shape is everywhere, and it always means technology!

My theory is that this is due to the shape of flash memory devices, like SD cards, sim cards, and memory sticks. They all have a corner missing so you can’t stick them in their little slot the wrong way.

So, if you want something to seem slick and fancy, use this shape!

We were going to eat and she didn’t mind me kidding her about her religion as long as I didn’t take it too far. It was almost easter and I was trying to be respectful because I like her.

It was Sunday morning and we were driving through Buckhead toward this french breakfast place, and on the sidewalk the choir and priests of a big southern church were gathered. That wasn’t all that was gathered, though. There was also a donkey.

I was not prepared for the donkey, and it shocked me right out of my tree. One of the robed women on hand with the priests and choir had a donkey on a rope.

“HOLYSHIT!” I screamed “WAS THAT A FUCKING DONKEY?”

“Yes, it was a donkey” my friend admitted, in a tone that indicated that I was treading on thin ice laughing at religious people even though they did, in my defense, have a donkey.

By now I was crying with laughter, barely able to drive, and in danger of running over a state trooper who was directing traffic.

“Struggling!” I choked, laughing still, but the climate in the car was getting rapidly cooler. She wasn’t having any of my donkey mocking antics. I stopped laughing.

“Wow, I really wasn’t ready for that donkey.” I said after a minute, hoping she could see how random and funny it was. She couldn’t, I guess, because she didn’t give any outward signs whatsoever that she wished to discuss the donkey.

It was a beautiful spring morning and I was horribly guilty of laughing at God’s donkey and I don’t know what to think about it. I’m not very religious.

I haven’t been to church other than for weddings and funerals since I was in high school and I was forced to go, even though my grandparents wanted me to be a preacher when I grew up. I really would rather play guitar.

I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just not for me.

I completely love the artwork of my friend John Lytle Wilson. I went to college with him, so I am lucky enough to already have 3 of his pieces of art hanging in my house.

Check him out, I can’t recommend him enough!

Now, I realize that I am a grown man, but damn it I like playing video games. I always have, and I probably always will. I like driving cars and shooting people and blowing shit up.

I do not buy that violent games make people violent, but these games tend to be graphic. Blood squirts, limbs go a-flying… graphic mayhem is in abundance. It’s brainless fun, and that’s why I like it so much. It’s like meditating, it requires no higher brian function, only reflexes.

One of my favorite games to play is Counter-Strike. It’s an online-only game, so you are pitted against other people, running around and trying to shoot them or blow them up with various devices. You have to kill them before they kill you, so you want to aim for the head. It is very graphic, and I do not recommend it for your children. Heads literally explode on a regular basis in this game.

Peculiarly, many of the douchebags who run these online games are hugely anti-profanity.

So basically, it’s totally fine with them if you run around with a gun and blow people’s heads apart like an overripe tomato and do a mexican hat dance on their twitching corpses, but if you say any bad words, they’ll throw you out.

And that is just about the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

UPDATE: I have gotten a number of weird comments on this post which nearly prompted me to post a rebuttal. Instead, I’ll just say that I have nothing against Christianity or Counter-Strike. I am quite familiar and fine with both. It’s just stupid to me that it’s more okay to shoot someone repeatedly in the head than it is to say shit or fuck. I’m really not to be dissuaded from this opinion.

You know, I used to say that I wanted to be creammated, loaded into a cannon ball, and shot out over the ocean when I die, but I am officially changing that. Listen up.

I want to be shot into space.

I want to be shot up into space, orbit for a few hours, and then reenter the earth’s atmosphere where I become a shooting star. This has to happen before I die, though, so maybe like my 90th birthday or something.

I won’t need a fancy spaceship since I am just going to get my old ass burned off on reentry, so just give me whatever shit you have laying around, NASA. Hook me up.

I have been watching video of Skylab astronauts outside the thing, working on it. Man I want to go up into space SO BADLY. Holy crap I can’t even tell you how bad I want it.

Yay space!