The new girl had apparently noticed some strange things going on at the bar, and decided to ask the head bartender about it.

“Are you guys drunk?” she asked.

“Oh, no. We did a shot earlier with some regulars but that’s it.” he replied.

Just then the cocktail waitress wobbled by and fell on her ass in a drunken stupor.

Looks were exchanged, words were had, and another saturday night had stories to tell.

The cat who ate your brain!

This is a silly movie that I made of my girlfriend’s cat running around the house, complete with fancy titles!

Give it a look, protect your brain from attack, etc.

It’s big, so be warned. It’s about 18M.

The vids.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my extreme pleasure to introduce to you, by way of this webpage, my friend and colleague Mr. Mike Lamb. As he is a good friend and a faithful band mate, I have decided to honor him here by posting some movies I have made of me abusing him.

The first video we see here is a shirtless and snoozing Mike snoring at the very top of the human ability to be loud as fuck while asleep. He kept me up for four or five hours before I finally went Jackie Chan on him and made him sleep on his side.

The second is me forcing him to tell me where Mt. Zion road is after assuring him for 30 minutes that it is lodged directly in his ass. This was on the way to Miami for the rock boat.

I did, as you might imagine, knock the ever-lovin shit out of him with various objects on the night in Charleston when he snored at approximately 190 decibels, but I did not get it on video, sadly. The next time I hit him with something, you can rest assured that I will capture it for posterity.

Please enjoy these videos of me abusing Mike, and look for more in the future.

Rock Boats

I was trying not to look out the porthole at the sea rushing by, because I was not used to the constant moving about yet and I didn’t want to yield my vegetables in front of everyone, least of all Shawn Mullins, who had just appeared to sit in. The obligatory “What do we play?” conversation began immediately.

“How about ‘Shimmer’ Do you know that one, Shawn?” asked Wood.

“Yeah I know it.” he said, and launched into it.

I once saw a car wreck in Birmingham Alabama while I was listening to Shimmer on the radio, I realized, but I tried to concentrate on Shawn’s hands because I didn’t know it. I don’t think I flubbed it too badly. It was a great pleasure to play with someone whose work I admire like him.

He launched into a bluesy number of his and gave me the nod about halfway into it, and then I was playing a solo and he was on rhythm. Hey, what do you know?

I tried not to look at the sea going by, because I didn’t want to puke in front of everyone.

I think it was an okay solo, as I remember.

I thought of this poem today as I was driving around running some errands. To be precise, I was on Irby, then East Andrews, then West Paces Ferry.

He wanted a hand job
and a boob shake
so he bought her a boob job
with a hand shake

It’s too wierd to go in a song, so just print it out and hand it to your friends, I guess. Tell them they look good so they’ll be in a good mood to read it.

( UPDATE: This poem has been expertly put to music by my very talented pre-med friend Tim Iliff! Listen to it by clicking here! DO it now!)

I’m going to Miami tomorrow with Mike “The Clam” Lambert (aka Clambert) to get on a cruise ship to Cozumel called the Rock Boat where I will be playing with the Sam Thacker Band.

My girlfriend is sick.

The movie Envy sucks really bad.

That’s all I know.