Jimbledon

As is probably evident from the panel at left, the first game of the international tennis championship (dubbed “Jimbledon”) between Italy and our great United States has begun. I have been chosen to represent America, a fact about which I am immensely proud.

Italy has nominated Mossimo Pizzano of Modena, who is an unscrupulous fuckface, and a smoker. Hah!

Having said that, it is my great displeasure to report that the fuckface mentioned above snuck up on the US team in straight sets earlier today, 6-0 6-2. However, I have vowed revenge and will be playing Italy again tomorrow, most likely.

Spectators are neither welcome nor invited, but some kids were observing the proceedings from the playground at today’s match in the park. Said one of the kids present, “I wanna play tennis! Hugblublglgblgubgub!”.

Further updates on the championship as events warrant.