I was doing a Thursday night gig with the Hawk at the Irish pub down in Buckhead. Shamus’ gig across the street was so dead that he closed up early and came over to play with us. I was standing to the left of the stage with a speaker very close to my head.
This quickly because a problem because Shamus is a seriously loud motherfucker. He plugged in and launched into a version of “What if god was one of us” that would have made God wish he were not only not one of us, but across town somewhere enjoying a pair of earmuffs and a nice glass of milk.
There was a dirty broad hanging about looking for takers, but she had so far found none in the band. The Hawk’s got a nice girl, and I’ve been seeing someone special lately, so neither of us were in the market for dirty broads. Shamus just broke up with his girl, though, so he was chatting it up with her after we knocked off for the night.
The problem was that she was clearly a basket case, and built like a cement truck to boot. I stood behind her where she couldn’t see me and mouthed the word “NO” over and over again at Shamus. He ignored me. I packed up my crap.
Eventually he came over to pack his shit up.
“Whatever,” he said, “I’m a dirty man, what do you expect?”
“Shamus, you’re a young man. Don’t do it.” I said, borrowing a line from Saving Private Ryan.
He paid me no mind and went right back to chatting her up. Honestly, it’s not that bad a deal since he’s been pretty down as a result of his recent breakup. His depression has, in fact, earned him the nickname of The Sobbing Beard due to his recent tendancy to break down and weep about the whole affair and his trademark facial hair. Of course, we’ve all been there, and of course it’s sad, but still. Sobbing and wailing and beards just don’t go together.
I had a good time telling Walt about him taking that girl home. I described her to him as a bearilla, a cross between a bear and a gorilla, but razzing him about it is less fun since he has no shame whatsoever.
“I did it and I liked it!” he exclaimed the next night.
Well, right on fella.
Hi. I'm 
Heh. Bearzilla. You know, there's an Anime porn in that just WAITING to be created!
Your girl is very very lucky if I do say so myself. I've become slightly…obsessed…with you…your writing I mean. Awesome man. Your girl is very lucky indeed.
Months of therapy and I still can't keep myself from adding z's to words. It's a disease. *sobs* Bearilla… hehe. I do pay attention. Honestly. Oh Jim. Will you ever forgive me?
I would like to obtain a copy of your book about the Furpians. However, I don't use Paypal, and I don't intend to start. Would you object to e-mailing me a mailing address where I could send the five bucks?
I have to agree, this girl you have is lucky to have you. Hope everything works out for you with all that. Have a good one. :)
You don't have to use paypal to do it. Paypal can accept many payment methods.
Did Am-Dog and Ram-Dog end up getting married?