I was out the other night with my lady friend watching a few of my buddies play a gig at a local establishment when McLemore, the bass player, decided he needed a piss. So, he held up his bass to indicate I should come up and play it while he peed. I went up and put it on.
There was a girl in the audience there who had been under some scrutiny by the fellas over whether or not she would show her breasts to the band. Naturally, I looked over to see if she would, an action not missed by my astute lady friend.
Now, my lady friend is not the jealous sort, but I got the distinct impression that she wondered why I would want to see this woman’s breasts when I could see hers when we get home, and let me just tell you, hers are fantastic. She didn’t ask me why, mind you, I just got a hunch that she wondered, and so, I’m going to explain it as best I can.
Listen up girls, another Hodgson Brand(tm) gem of insight into the male mind coming at you.
Now, when each little boy is born, there is a vast array of counters which closely resemble a car’s odometer (that’s the mile-counter thingy, girls) totalling in his head the number of times he has achieved any given sexual milestone. These numbers are filed away for later comparison with his friend’s numbers, real or perceived, and used to calculate how his approach to the ladies is faring. Seeing naked breasts has its own little counter.
So you see, I am merely a slave to my Boob-O-Meter. If naked boobs are on display, I quite simply must look, or miss my numbers for the quarter, and by God, I don’t miss my numbers.
Hi. I'm 
Jim, does your girlfriend know that you refer to her as your “lady friend” and, if so, how does she feel about? I would imagine she might be more disturbed by that than by you looking at boobies galore.
Look at it this way: If she was up on stage playing guitar (or something) and a guy in the audience took out his little buddy, she'd probably look. Not necessarily because she really wanted to see it, but because from the stage, it's difficult not to look at the audience. You're facing them, and you're slightly elevated. And a musician usually wants to look at the audience a little. Gets them to pay attention to you and all. But you know all this.
boob-o-meter's are just like odometer's (mile-counter-thingy's)…once they get to 999999.9, they just start over so we gotta look all our live's.
Christ, kluts. Did you not learn the proper usage of an apostrophe in first grade? It doesn't mean “oh shit, here comes an s!”
hahaha
Hey Hodgson, where are you? Your time off from posting has made me realize that I'm addicted to your diary… and I'm jonesing here. Hook me up, man, hook me up!
Ahaha, “oh shit, here comes an S!”'