Walter and I were hanging out at the Irish pub having a few drinks and watching some friends play their gig. I was getting pretty close to drunk after a number of beers and assorted shots of Jager.
Some girls next to us told me I looked like their friend Bill and wanted to know if I would come to their party on Saturday, but I told them I had plans. I resisted the urge to say “Besides, I know Bill and he’s an asshole.”
“Don’t look now,” Walter said, leaning over, “But there’s a fat man in the other room.”
He was right, there was.
Another Thursday went by pleasantly, and I have no reason to believe that there won’t be many more like it to come.
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Hi. I'm 
Ayep, ayep.
Unwanted erection!? Why, there's no such thing, my lad. It's wanted by someone… it's your job to find out who.
You kind of have to look at it like this: Many people have the “unwanted errection”, but not everyone's errections are big enough to share with the world.
Sweetie, what day are you on?? TUESDAY, yesterday was Tuesday… Or maybe I'm wrong – 'cause it has been one friggin long week. I mean, with all the fat people hanging about and all.
And today is Wednesday.
It's crazy how jim lives in the future, no?
It was last thursday. I don't necessarily write about events in chronological order. Walter and I like to point out people fatter than ourselves. It makes us feel better.
I like to point out people thinner than me. There are a lot more of them.
Fat AND hardons? Fucking real! Where do I sign up, everything a girl ever wanted. Mmmmm.
Still fat! Hello fat lady!
i am starting my own channel
called #xorg
because i am a fuck of a lot funnier than any of you