Monthly Archives: March 2003

yet even more jail

By jim | Published: March 31, 2003
A fastidious-looking asian sherrif’s deputy came to get the people in the room in groups of three and four. He took them out of the small room we were in and didn’t bring them back. he looked sort of small to be eating all those people, but who knew? I squirmed on the nasty jail [...]
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yet more jail

By jim | Published: March 28, 2003
I was examining the locks on the cell door because there wasn’t much else to stare at, and because I had already examined the smoke alarm (such as I could). The locks in jail are big slots, and I think you can open them from either side, if you have the right key. I did [...]
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the Pacer and hte smoke alarm

By jim | Published: March 27, 2003
“When you feel your hands come free place them against that wall,” the deputy sherrif said, unclipping my cuffs. I placed my hands on that wall, like he said. I was wearing a tee shirt with some obfuscated perl code on the back of it. He asked me what it meant, and I mumbled a [...]
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I go to jail

By jim | Published: March 26, 2003
I was bored at my night job, naturally. I decided I might go for a drive around the neighborhood to see if I could find a non-highway route to the nearest train station so I could avoid driving altogether. As I was searching around, a cop pulled me over, which was good because I couldn’t [...]
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Segways

By jim | Published: March 25, 2003
I’m sort of shocked that I haven’t seen any video of anyone jumping a segway off of anythinng yet. I mean, they are pretty expensive, but what’s the holdup, people? Go big! I’d like to have a segway, except that they cost a fuckload, weigh a fuckload, and are almost entirely impractical on broken and [...]
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mutiny!

By jim | Published: March 24, 2003
Sometimes when I get myself good and drunk and my motor skills suffer, I like to imagine that I am undergoing a mutiny attempt upon my person by my personal effects. Sometimes my Bic lighter conspires with my keys to jab me in the leg through my pocket. “Mutiny!” I shout, and rearrange them. The [...]
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instructions on being an idiot

By jim | Published: March 20, 2003
Many times in your life people may ask you questions with you doo not wish to answer. Some of the ones I get asked a lot tend to include the following: How many drinks have you had? Where have you been? Why are you late? What were you thinking? Are you always this immature? Friends, [...]
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Dick Johnson needs to be let in

By jim | Published: March 19, 2003
There is a little speaker that lives on the wall next to where my desk is at my day job. It is the ass end of a system whose head is at the front door. This allows people who want to come inside to talk to me without me having to go see who they [...]
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traffic

By jim | Published: March 18, 2003
Jesus Christ, I just drove an hour and a half to get home. I can’t take it. ATLANTA, WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A DECENT MASS TRANSIT SYSTEM FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS? If someone drove by you in Atlanta traffic this morning going “FUCK! FUCK! SHIT! FUCK!” over and over again, I apologize. That was [...]
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good advice

By jim | Published: March 17, 2003
Walter’s got a pretty full plate gig-wise, and that’s why when Jorge asked him to do some studio work for his band Say Marcie, he was reluctant. Walter, however, is a nice guy though, so he did it anyway. The problem became that he was getting busier and busier and Say Marcie was taking up [...]
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