kids, hospitals, assheaded frontmen

So today my guitar player’s wife had the kid, finally. He called to get me to come up to the hospital and hold it. I knew it was going to look wierd, and I was right. Its head is bullet-shaped due to getting squeezed by the innards of his wife. What an odd thing. The pisser of the whole situation was that finding the room became a quest for hidden treasure. Turns out they have multiple room 304′s. The first one I found had a tired old man in it who was trying to get into some slacks with the door open. He said, “Hi..”I said, “Hi.” and left. I eventually got there after several cellphone calls while being lost. I held the baby. His head was floppy like a giant flower on a tiny stalk. I supported it. After all of this, and talking to his wife a bit about how great she looked, we went out to the parking deck so he could harangue me about smoking some. Then he intimated that he is “TIghtening the reins” on the band. I take this to mean that he’s a giant cock with a serious god complex. If he wants me to be his bitch, I am leaving.